The story of a soldier

“Where am I? Is this the "nothingness"? Somehow this place makes me extremely aware of my own frailty and vulnerability. What is this place said the Soldier?” Don’t worry you are and you are loved, said the voice.” “I remember now, I was a soldier and I was to protect the princess, I was to find the enemy in our kingdom, expose and defeat him and win the princess’s heart said the Soldier.” “And, now you are here in this place. You have achieved a consciousness that many others have not achieved said the voice.” The soldier asks, “Am I dead or alive, am I real or am I a figment of someone’s imagination?” You are as real to me just as I am to you. “It seems we lost the battle and the adversary has won his victory causing the whole world to be swallowed up by this nothingness,” said the Soldier. The voice says, “It is he that has been swallowed up by victory”. Is that what you really think, do you really believe the adversary is in control of all of this? He’s just a small pawn in a bigger game that I win, and you could too if you would just change the way you think! Hum, you call this place nothingness? I call this place, my imagination, and you’re just another thought, an idea, or a concept if you will, in my mind. And I am always in control. “Why is this happening to me? Why am I going through this?” said the Soldier. The voice repeats all of his questions in a winy voice. “It’s all about you isn’t it! You always seem to have yourself on your mind. You spend countless time in the mirror but you walk away and forget what you look like. “Where are my fellow soldiers, where are my friends asked the soldier?” None of them can help you in this place, so I hope you learn to appreciate it just being you and me!” said the voice. You are not the only one going through what you are going through. Sure, each life is unique and every circumstance is different but life and circumstances brings everyone, everyone, to this place, this crossroad, this place of “nothingness” as you call it. Each individual in some form or fashion, find themselves here, asking the same questions and the answers are always the same. Each one faced with a similar dilemma, just as you are thinking at this moment, if you have enough strength to get you through the next moment before you slip away, before you die. You’re afraid, because you are uncertain of what lies ahead of you. Can you imagine what the princess was going through and what she must have thought and if she was thinking the same thing? Right before she vanished into the nothingness, she was exactly where you are now. Was it dark; was she afraid, did she feel alone? (The soldier weeps as he imagines the princess trembling in the dark alone) Where were you soldier? Were you there when she was slipping away, were you there to answer her questions, were you there to take her by the hand. “I didn’t know”, screams the soldier. And yet she had something you don’t, an assurance, a peace.  She looked death right between the eyes right there in the dark.… “But you were there for her weren’t you?” asked the soldier.” I was there. (Brief silence) But let’s talk about you said the voice. Down to your last few breaths, let’s answer your first question. You want to know how you ended up here. Who are you that you should not taste death because of your selfishness and your pride? “How can you condemn a man for not knowing?” said the soldier. Not knowing you say? Wisdom was calling out to you and she presented herself to you but you chose to turn a deaf ear to her and decided to lean to your own understanding. Understanding was at your fingertips but you withdrew your hand and instead you reached for folly. “Why are you doing this to me? This is all your fault said the soldier.” “Why do you blame me small soldier, you were the one who pursued your own desire, your own selfish ambitions. Now you are angry because instead of finding fulfillment you end up here and now it’s just you and I said the voice.” “But I was doing something good; something worth while, I was protecting the princess said the soldier.” And who was protecting her from you? (No reply) Good without me isn’t good enough. I gave you plenty of signs along the way but you ignored them. I kept you from this, shielded you from that and you never once acknowledged me, rather you believed more in the strength of your own arm. You avoided accountability and commitment to me because you thought you could do a better job at managing your life. You thought you were invincible yet you were delusional and high off your on achievements! Why am I alone asked the soldier? How can you be alone if I’m here? Would you prefer to be here with someone else? (The soldier thinks) “No!” the soldier answered. Tell me why young soldier? Well, because, (pause) no one else could have given me the answers that you have given me or helped me to see myself said the soldier. This place, right where you are, this very place is the place where all men fear. “You have answered my questions and brought me a peace I have never known. There is nothing that could ever satisfy me not money, not ambition, not the love of a princess, not food, water or even air, but only a relationship with you. You speak truth and it stills the storm inside me said the soldier.” For once, your words are not stout against me says the voice. Many have come to this place and they chose to believe in what they could see rather than the truth. They could’ve traded their fear for faith; it’s a simple decision, that could have connected them to a different fate said the voice! So soldier, what exactly is this place really? (He looks around) “This place, (pause) is the valley of decision said the soldier.” You perceive correctly young soldier. Are you still afraid of what’s going to happen when you take your last breath asked the voice? (He takes a few breaths) What is death? And why are we so afraid of it?” the soldier asks. I’ve waited a long time for someone to ask that question. Man can die many deaths. He can die to his own ambition, to his own desires, to his own will and he can even die to the physical world. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand death. Death is simply a separation, a transition, from one thing to another, or from one place to another. It’s the absence of truth that causes man to be afraid of what he doesn’t know. The uncertainty scares him. The uncertainty of not knowing what life will be like when he is separated from his body and this world; wondering if he’s made the right decisions. So death is not the end asks the soldier? No, death is just the beginning. My peace is what smoothes the transition. Peace comes from knowing the truth said the voice. What is the truth asks the soldier? Another good question says the voice. I am! Truth is rightness according to what I say is right. Truth is anything and everything I say. Everything that proceeds out of my mouth is truth. With my word I have established everything that is seen and unseen. There is nothing and there is no one who can overturn what I have established. I decree a thing and it is so. My words are proclamation they are providence and they are iron clad!! So truth is all I need asks the soldier? Almost says the voice, truth is only the half of it; the other half is faith in the truth! “Who am I, soldier?” asks the voice. “You are the author and the finisher of my faith” replies the soldier. How do you know this? Because you said it, because I believe you and because there is a voice inside of me, an inner consciousness that bears witness to you and your words. This is good soldier, you are almost ready. I created you this way in fact; I created all men this way. There are many voices in the world; man can choose to listen to any of them. Ultimately the voice I put on the inside of man was designed to lead him to me. Being in my presence has strengthened your inner voice. When a man forsakes my presence his inner voice becomes dull and sometimes silenced. Other voices around him become louder and it is sometimes easier to succumb to the louder voice. Are you ready soldier? Please forgive me of my unrighteousness Lord, you have bestowed upon me grace, mercy and wisdom something I don’t deserve. I accept your truth and I am now ready to transition into that next place!